covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
