Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
