thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
