I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
