do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
my poor anus
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
