she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
