I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
