i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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