My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
