Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
