it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
