Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
