No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
