shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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