The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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