OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
