video games are the ultimate cock blocker
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
