i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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