Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
