RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I supernannyed him into submission
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
