I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just found a bag of teeth...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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