it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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