Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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