Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
