Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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