thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
