At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
