respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
