Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's rum buckets o'clock
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize