You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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