if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
