The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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