I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize
