If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
