six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
