I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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