Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize