Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you win again, gameday.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
