I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
