i think my mom watched the whole time
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
