Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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