ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
