he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
