Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
