lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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