id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
