Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
