as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
