It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are we still banned from the library?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
FUCK WHALES
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
