I wish I could teleport
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
