Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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