You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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