I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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