We're like a lot better than the average bears
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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