STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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