is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize