Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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