EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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