Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
