one might say we're banned from that church
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
