my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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