her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
