Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
