opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
