Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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