And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
